my specialities

Sometimes you are so caught up with things you almost forget to breathe.

There is a niggling feeling inside that things are not quite ok.

Sometimes you worry so much it is hard to stay focused.

You get angry for no reason or your anger is out of proportion.

One day you are working hard, getting a lot done. Next day you crash as if there's no energy left. 

Anxiety is about losing control. Sometimes the loss of control is real, for example if a person has been in an accident and is in the hospital, then the feeling of loss of control is very real. Sometimes there is a false perception of loss of control. This is usually because of old fears that are getting triggered. Whether it is a real or perceived anxiety, in our minds and bodies, the distress caused is the same.

Depression is often confused with sadness. Feeling sad is a temporary state. But depression can be a sinking feeling inside, loss of hope, low energy, and feelings of laziness. So that even simple tasks like getting out of bed can become impossible to do. And there is a tendency to shut out the world and retreat to a quiet place to be alone. Importantly, symptoms of depression can be very different between men and women.

Anxiety and depression both are very painful to live with. If you are a parent, for your children to live with parental anxiety or depression can be very difficult. But you don’t have to continue living like this. You CAN get out of it.

Therapy can help you –

• Understand the roots of your anxiety

• Get out of the cycle of negative thinking and feeling anxious or depressed

• Make changes in your lifestyle and in your relationships

• Learn practical skills to handle negative thoughts and negative emotions

You feel haunted by things that happened to you in the past.
You've not overcome your painful childhood.
You lost someone very important and have not been the same since.
You can't say no to people.
You struggle with perfectionism and are very hard on yourself.
Relationships never seem to work out for you. You always attract the wrong kind of people.
You seem easily overwhelmed by emotions, always at the verge of tears.

As they say - trauma has long legs and arms. It has a way of changing us fundamentally and can impact us long after the actual incident. Trauma is defined as any disturbing experience that continues to impact your life even today. Childhood neglect or abuse, being subjected to bullying, being in an abusive relationship, being in an accident or in war - all are traumatic experiences. Feelings of anxiety, depression, emotional breakdowns, relationship difficulties, hyper-vigilance, poor boundaries, lack of assertiveness, flashbacks - are all symptoms of trauma.

Trauma is subjective. What is traumatic for one person may not be so for another. Exposure in childhood to parental neglect, physical or sexual abuse, domestic violence, alcoholism can impact the healthy development of a child. Some of these scars can persist through to adulthood, and manifest in relationship difficulties, feelings of abandonment, substance use, mood disorders, and even physical illnesses.

Trauma gets stored in our mind and body. Our brain is capable of processing a disturbing experience and learn and grow from it. Some disturbing experiences, however, gets "stuck" and don't finish processing. These "stuck" experiences are what we call trauma. These "stuck" experiences easily come to surface when triggered and can make us relive the original disturbing event.

Trauma can change how we see ourselves. It can lead to a belief system that is self-sabotaging. For example, persistent criticism and dissatisfaction from a parent can lead a child to develop the belief that "I can't do anything right" or "I'm not good enough". Once this belief has taken hold, the child will grow up into an adult that just has given up completely or one that is never happy with themselves no matter what they achieve. 

Therapy can help you - 

• Understand the trauma roots of your current difficulties

• Get unstuck from the painful emotions and memories

• No longer be held hostage by flashbacks

• Gain an adult perspective and heal yourself

• Build healthier belief systems about yourself and the world

EMDR therapy is a gold standard in trauma treatment. It can accelerate the healing process by reprocessing the "stuck" trauma and bringing about an healthier adult perspective.

You know you have the ability to achieve but somehow have never been able to make it.

Somewhere inside you feel you are not good enough.

You compare yourself with those around you and always find yourself lacking.

People often take advantage of you. What is worse is that you know it but are unable to do anything about it.

You get along with different types of people but it takes a lot of effort. 

In trying to be a good friend, a good neighbour, etc., you feel like you don’t know what you want for yourself 

A healthy self-esteem is necessary if we want to live to our potential and feel fulfilled in life. Low self-esteem can make you doubt yourself and second guess everything you do. It can stop you from applying for that job you really want or that promotion you really deserve. Low self-esteem can stop you from being assertive in your personal relationships; it can even make it difficult for you to end bad relationships. Low self-esteem can fill you with shame and self-doubt. It can make you compromise on things that you should not be compromising. 

It is possible to build a healthy self-esteem. With the proper guidance you can rewrite the way you are and have a more fulfilling life. 

Therapy can help you –

• Understand the roots of the self-esteem issues

• Get rid of the negative cycles of thinking  that causes self-doubt and shame

• Improve the way you feel about yourself

• Be assertive at work and in your personal life.